ex-cused
 
(This is a picture my friend Peter took from his place in Italy.  I would rather be there right now.)
 
A crazy few days.  Went to see our good friend Rick Preston play in Santa Monica.  Saw my sisters-in-law play at a punk/rock festival in Long Island.  Went to the JPL Open House and saw Whit do her thing with the kids.  So awesome; despite how used I am to her working there...I am really not.  She’s amazing and I am so stoked she likes working there.  It was cool to see a glimpse of all the various types of research that is going on.  I am actually getting the hang of Ableton Live and am spitting out some seriously freaky tracks.  Once II really get the hang of it, I might actually be able to make some cool music, kinda like my friend Tommy.  
 
I am crazy busy.  Another of my products got a great review in a recent magazine; what was helpful.  I had an audition to some ADR/voice replacement for a feature film, that I didn’t get; not helpful.  It’s really insanely slow on the acting side right now and everyone is complaining about it.
 
Here is a problem I am having.  I don’t like making excuses, really.  It seems to take more time to figure out an excuse than to actual do the damn thing you are making excuses for.  I  mean, sure, I have excuses for being late and stuff like that--those are normal temporal-type excuses.  I am talking about the larger issues.  
 
For example, I get lots of excuses for why I am not acting regularly, why I am not going out on auditions right the $%(*@ now.  “Oh, it’s slow because of this that and the other damn thing.” “Once you get that photo up, then this that and that freaky deaky will work out.”  “If you just didn’t suck so bad you might be able to book a job.”
 
I actually don’t hear that last one, but it would be an interesting moment to actually hear it.  When I hear these things, I know I am supposed to accept these sentences because people who know better, who have been in LA longer, who deal with actors who work regularly, are providing these points.  This is valid information, right?  
 
But they are also excuses, aren’t they?  And is there not a way to get around excuses, almost always?  Surely someone is casting right now. (Surely I don’t suck that bad.)  These excuses are constant--it’s always like this, seemingly.
 
The key is breaking away from this environment, this trap of constant excuse.  Escaping the hamster wheel of reasons why you are not moving forward, to stop, step off and get on the right track.  
 
I guess I am just gonna have to figure out how to do it.  But at least I know what “it” is--excuses, no matter where they come from, are ways of denying progress and are not necessary.  
 
So, no more excuses!
 
 
 
Tuesday, May 23, 2006